In the 12 years I have been coaching and training I have come to realise that most problems come down to one very important question . . . How much do you love yourselves?
I have asked many people what self-love means to them and here are some of the answers:
‘Looking after mind, body and soul.’
‘Spending time doing what makes me happy.’
‘Unconditional love, no matter what!’
‘Believing in myself.’
‘Sometimes saying: “No”.’
‘Not beating myself up but laughing at myself kindly.’
‘Making every effort to like myself.’
These are all really great responses and I think there is an even deeper understanding we can gain.
Self-love is not about being self-indulged or pretentious. Rather, self-love is a birthright. It affects how we express ourselves in the world as well as how we experience our lives. If we don’t have enough self-love, it can have detrimental effects on many areas of our lives.
For example; how is your health?
Do you have supportive and loving relationships?
How is your financial situation?
Do you find it easy to make great decisions?
Do you set inspiring goals and achieve them?
Are you comfortable asking for what you need and want, and are you able to receive gracefully?
In our busy lives it can make a massive difference to take a little time to look at self-love because changes in this area can save us a great deal of time and heartache in the long run and make a massive difference to our success and happiness.
Today we will look at 7 ways to deepen self-love.
- Knowing and Living Your Passion & Purpose!Knowing who you are and what your unique contribution is to the world gives you a deeper meaning to life. It allows you to know where you belong. It’s good for us to explore our passion and purpose as it gives new perspectives, bigger insights and allows for greater meaning. Knowing your authentic self and your unique message gives you greater self-esteem and self-love!
- Listening and Trusting Your IntuitionListening to intuition allows us to have flow, trust, faith, and love for ourselves and in life. We connect to our intuition when we go BEYOND our emotions and intellect. A good way to do this is by writing down and emptying out how you feel about a particular event/topic and then writing down your thoughts about it. After this, be willing to be open to the still quiet voice that knows what is best for you.
- Communication with Yourself and Others by Expressing Your Truth Confidently and RespectfullyThis is one of the greatest expressions of self-love. Once you know Your Passion & Purpose, and you are Trusting Your Intuition, it is time to communicate effectively with others about what you will accept and what you won’t allow. This leads us into the next level which is;
- Having Supportive & Loving Relationships in Your Life!
Sometimes people believe they need to hold onto relationships because there was history together rather than looking at if the relationship is serving you both now. Unless both people are willing to change toxic relationship remain that way.Have you allowed those closest to you to cross your boundaries and make you feel small, unseen, disrespected or misunderstood? If so then it is time to put yourself first and surround yourself with people who lift you higher, remind you to shine your light and see you for all your glory! If for some reason you need to see negative people then you may want to experiment with these techniques;a) When you are communicating with this unresourceful person, see yourself surrounded by a bubble of light and love that is connected to your higher self and imagine that all of the negative energy that affects you is now bouncing off your bubble and simply goes back into the light.b) Realize that this person’s negativity is not actually about you! It will be about what they have experienced in their life. If this person still influences you too much than it might be worth doing a Matrix Therapies process to cut the cords from this energy.Now this all leads into;
- Knowing your Boundaries and Sticking to Them!Knowing what you believe in most, what message you express to others as to who you are and what you stand for; when you know this and you love yourself enough to be true to this, it’s important to make sure you are standing in your power and allow for only supportive people to cross your path.What you allow others to do around you is teaching them how to treat you. Gently, step by step, break the patterns of the past such as overcompensatory people pleasing and reteach those you love how to treat you better. This of course means you need to treat yourself how you want others to respect you!
- Learn to Master Your Emotions and Respect Receptivity!Yep! Respect Receptivity! When you don’t receive compliments, gifts or any form of energy exchange from another or from yourself you are simply not respecting the divine order of manifesting goodness in your life. In order to create and truly contribute in your world, it is extremely important to understand that in receiving you are giving a gift to another.When you accept a compliment from another you are giving them respect of their opinion and allowing them to feel good in giving it!When you accept pleasure in your life you are allowing the giver to receive the gift in the giving to you. It’s a cyclic energy form. In receiving you are giving and in order to give you must receive. The seed needed to receive fertilization before birth was given so please respect yourself enough and others to receive pleasure in all it’s forms.Here it is also important to respect your emotions, even the ones that don’t feel good. Listen to the message that they are wanting to tell you and then let them pass through you. Repressing your emotions or covering them up is so damaging to your health. All of your emotions have lessons to give you so listen clearly. Which brings me to the last level of Self Love;
- Look After Your Physical Health, Your Financial Health and Your External Environment!These all take those small steps to improvement. Constant and never ending improvement in learning to love who you are to always be putting focus into improving your physical health, learn how to manage your money best and to look after your beautiful environments that you are nurtured by.Finally, Self Love is not something you either have or you don’t have, it is a beautiful journey in deepening your love you have for who you are and creating a life you love!