February already! Is your New Years Resolution already a distant memory?
We start the year with such great intentions, we’re on holidays!
We are full of optimism that this year will be so different than the last.
Yet by February, we are back to doing the same old stuff, in the same old way
Why is this?
Most of us try to change behaviour without looking at our beliefs about ourselves, or the influences that have caused our behaviour.
For example – how many of you were rewarded with treats as a child and now ‘treat’ yourself to a little indulgent snack?
Certainly an occasional treat is fine – our health starts to suffer if there is a treat at morning tea, another before, or with lunch, an afternoon treat and then something before dinner, something after dinner and then a snack before bed.
The same applies to any addictive behaviour – drinking, gambling, shopping – the list is endless.
Self destructive behaviour happens when we don’t believe we deserve anything better, or we are punishing ourselves for not being enough.
We may want to become a better version of ourselves however deep inside we don’t really believe we can do it – we’ve tried before and failed.
Until our new behaviour is automatic, we need to use willpower to make the change.
Willpower is vital to initiate change, however it is not meant to sustain it.
How many of you have started the day full of enthusiasm and commitment, only to come crashing down when work, tiredness and the rest of life take over?
During holidays you have more energy, time and will power to focus on your new behaviour.
When back at work – the automatic pull of old habits can be too much to resist.
One of the interesting things about goals is how they affect the RAS or Reticular Activating System. This system is the part of the mind that points out to you what you are interested in, what is important to you and what you want. If you do not reprogram the RAS by telling it what you want in 2018 then it will go about giving you the same old patterns of behaviour as you had in the past.
What can we do?
Many times people become disillusioned with goal setting because they did not get the result they were expecting. This just indicates that something was missing from the process. To ensure success one can follow the principals of success like this: SET A GOAL (Know what you want), TAKE ACTION (Move towards what you want), OBSERVE & MEASURE (Notice if your action is working) – if it is persist until you get the RESULT or change until you get the RESULT you want, and finally work from a PSYCHOLOGY and PHYSIOLOGY of EXCELLENCE. If in the past you have not gained your goal then look at this list and see what wasn’t effective. Change those things and move again towards your goal.
If we can change our beliefs and clear the negative influences then the behaviour automatically changes.
How cool’s this?
Instead of starting with trying to change the old behaviour, we need to dig a little to see why we are acting that way.
How do I know it’s time…? for a snack … to go shopping… have a drink… to not exercise… procrastinate…
I’m tired… I’m cranky… Someone is annoying me… I’m angry with myself… I want to make my self feel better… I’m bored… It’s not worth it… I’m not worth it… why bother?…
Once we are truthfully looking at the answer then can we initiate lasting change.
We need to clear away the old negative influences and limiting beliefs.
Once these are gone, the reasons you are hanging on to unwanted behaviour also go.
Even better news
When you link a goal to a strong emotion, you create instant neuro-pathways in the brain.
The new behaviour becomes rapidly automatic, especially if you have cleared away the negative influences and beliefs.
This is one of the many secrets of passion.
It is why successful people such as Richard Branson, have always known that passion is the first key to success.
Of course, it is also the key to love and happiness as well.
Author: Cat Valentine
Image: Happy Body Formula